Suburban Beatitudes: The Good Life for us in Suburbia

Blessed are those who live in the suburbs, for theirs is the comfort, ease, and convenience of the American Dream.

Blessed are those who maintain the facade of a perfect life and family, for theirs is the praise of neighbor and of co-worker.

Blessed are those who rarely have to deal with neighbors, yet are able to keep up the appearance of being involved in the community, for theirs is the perception that they make a difference where they live without the time, energy, or sacrifice of actually investing in those around them.

Blessed are the proud and self-assured, for theirs are the promotions, career advancements, and worldly success that humble, meek individuals will never achieve.

Blessed are those whose children do well in school and sports even at the expense of attending church on Sunday, for theirs is the acceptance at favored universities and scholarships that others miss out on.

Blessed are those moral enough to be admired by others but speak only in vague terms about God, Jesus, or religion, so as never to make conversations awkward, for theirs is the pleasure of the praise of man and assurance of one’s own righteousness.

Blessed are the physically healthy and beautiful and all who can keep at bay any appearance of aging, for theirs is the illusion of perennial youth and the adoration of lustful eyes.

Blessed are those who pursue comfort even at the expense of doing what is right, for to these belong COMFORT, the highest and most cherished ideal of suburbia.